what to do when your 9-5 sucks the joy out of you
and that doesn’t require spending money
you know how they go. you come back from a long weekend (plus an extra day off, thanks pto), and there’s nothing really going on. you have your taks and they haven’t changed much from when you left. your boss is quiet because sometimes the gods listen to you and give you a break from his golden retriever energy. your colleague is doing her thing, so you do yours.
you work from home so the boring tasks look even more boring in the quiet. not even your dog is excited to be awake and living today. it’s been all gray and no blue for days now, a never-ending loop of rain and cold and wind and dry weather.
you feel extremely offended by this because it’s may (*cue justin timberlake*) and you were promised sunshine and warmth and frolicking in lavender fields. you were sold by your own subconscious the dreams of laying in the grass and looking up at the sky and describing clouds as animals and drinking iced coffee and just remembering the people are actually okay.
but no.
so here you are.
on a wednesday morning that feels like a monday that feels like purgatory.
doing boring tasks that will leave you mentally drained to then do as your next-door-building-same-floor-window neighbour: sit in front of the tv and leave only when it’s too late and you’ve forgotten the promise of an early night to try and make it different the next day.
sigh.
armed with one of your reflective moods, you see yourself faced with a choice.
you can give in to the gloominess of the day and your mood, have snacks and some chocolate for dinner and accept that the professional realization you so desire will only be achievable once you discover you’re an heiress of some kind and have enough money to quit your job and dedicate yourself full time to you passion of writing.
OR
you can look around, reacquaint yourself with your surroundings and try - even if just a little - to create some sort of magic that will turn that frown upside down (cringe alert) and give an energy boost so the day is not completely lost. work is necessary, you have bills to pay, coffee to buy, a dog to pamper and no relatives with hidden fortunes to give you overnight (only debts, unfortunately).
let’s go for option two, shall we? even if just for the fun of it.
you frolic in your living room. you crack up a lovely lo-fi playlist with one of those pretty illustrations as a background on youtube (’it’s your day off and you’re having coffee at a french veranda', says the title), you turn on the silly lamp you bought at an overpriced décor shop around the block, light a candle just because and set a timer to do you boring tasks.
somehow, this makes you happy. your 9-5 is not going anywhere anytime soon. you love working from home, but it does get a little lonely from time to time. living the digital nomad dream is not aligned with your immigration plans so you need to make do.
it’s not settling, though. it’s prioritizing and changing perspectives.
is practicing what you (so very hard try to) preach.
it’s turning a silly corporate task into a lovely core memory that will most definitely be in your journal sometime this week.
it’s finding joy that will keep burning like your super-scented candle until later that evening, and make you feel like yes, you can still sit at your computer for a little longer and write some pretty words.
yeah… that sounds good.
the mediocre can be beautiful
there are few things in life that really fall under our control. they basically circle around:
how we interpret and react to situations
how we think about ourselves and the world
how we create and maintain our routines and habits
and even those three can be shaken up by Big Life Events. but as i was reminded by a friend the other day, consistency is how quickly you bounce back, and i’ve shifted my knowledge of growing up to how quickly and effectively i can bounce back on things that are within my control.
not in a ‘productive-avoidance-not-feeling-things-way’, but by going through the whole living-processing-adjusting-moving-on cycle. i bring this up because it might not be obvious how powerful we are in shaping and shifting our reality.
i cannot control the weather. i wish i could. it would be all sunny days and great temperatures and no natural disasters in sight. i cannot control my boss and his hyperactive sprints. i cannot even control the work i do, as i might be asked to complete tasks i don’t enjoy or don’t even believe fall under my job description.
however.
(and this is where optimism and realism collide to make something beautiful)
i control how i interpret and react to situations, how i think about myself and the world and how i create and maintain my routines and habits. of course, i consider that i’m speaking from a place of privilege. i will never know the challenges of raising another human being. or caring for an elderly parent. dealing with chronic illness or a disability.
this is, i have to admit, a very white privileged woman thing to think.
but i feel like these ideas can find different people in different stages of life and dealing with different circumstances and reach them somehow. plant a seed or whatever.
all of this to say, sometimes we have to think a little harder, but it's actually not that hard to change a mood if you're willing to put in the work. my new mantra is ‘embrace discomfort’ because my comfort zone has been making me miserable, and trust me when i say that thinking of a few, tiny things to make a boring day less boring and prettier can be hard.
also because we got used to looking at things through a particular perspective and leaning on specific, mostly money-related things to ‘feel better'. we go buy a new book, new clothes, a new plant. a new skincare product. we go buy another coffee, a sweet treat, a delicious, comforting meal. we look for instant gratification or just something to make us stop thinking altogether, be it drugs or a few hours of doom scrolling.
so i took these reflections as the creative challenge they are. what if i could do something right now to make this miserable day better? and if i could, how would i do it?
for me, it started with a lo-fi playlist. a candle. a silly lamp. it evolved to seeing my dog looking so cute all cuddled up in the bed i just had to join him for a few minutes between one meeting and another. and, most recently, it ended with me cooking a full brunch to myself because i felt like scrambled eggs for lunch, had no plans whatsoever, and was starting to feel gloomy like the weather again.
so when i say there is a way, trust me, there is a way to live and have a life even if you have a traditional job.
how to live with a 9-5
listen, i need to be cringe again for a second. but even though i agree that corporate is kinda evil and capitalism sucks, most of us still live within the system, so adapting is necessary and adapting, most of the time, means having a traditional job.
so here's the cringe part: let's be thankful for a second.
i know we get sucked into this wonderful narrative sold by tiktok of quitting our jobs and living our dreams, and i do believe it's possible (after all, it's something i want), but i also know is not easy and, again, personal circumstances comes into play.
maybe you simply can't do that right now.
i can't.
am i going to settle with being miserable until my circumstances change and i can?
i really prefer not to.
and since i've been thinking about this for a while now, i feel like i can offer you (us) some ideas on how to live with a 9-5 without spending money.
1.plan, plan, plan
ok, so this is a lesson learned recently. i used to be anti-planning things with the excuse of not wanting to be overwhelmed, however, it's quite the opposite. to avoid the paralysis numerous options can cause, i really prefer to set aside some time to plan how i want to spend my time after work.
in the last couple of weeks, i made collages with stuff i had around the apartment, i cooked only with ingredients i had in the fridge, i watched a comforting movie while doing my nails. i went over to friend's houses just to chichat, i had some of the best weekends and days off in a long time.
but i really needed to plan it all for it to work out. so take a second to plan your time away from work and brainstorm ideas on how to spend your time in a way that will bring you joy.
(bonus points if you don't use ai for that.)
2.reimagine things you do every day
like the day i chose a lo-fi playlist and lit a candle to make work less boring, what activities do you do every day that could be a little more whimsical? maybe dinner can be transformed into something different when paired with your favourite album from your favourite band.
maybe you can trade watching tv with a partner for cooking a meal together or playing a board game you haven't touched in ages. maybe you can go for a long walk instead of the gym if the weather is nice. make everyday tasks magical by mixing it up a little.
3.make inventory
i'm sure you have a lot of stuff around your place you don't use. materials for hobbies you never really tried, books you bought but never read because new releases looked more interesting, and canned items in your pantry…. something i did recently was going through everything i had and what could be used to create something new or occupy my downtime in new ways.
for example, i bought a oil pastel set and a sketchbook a while back i still haven't used, and i remembered i had a lettering book with a bunch of exercises i never finished. both now have a special place on my dining room table, so i can remember to use it when i'm bored or to schedule time after work for that if i'm having a tough week.
4.call a friend
i've been doing this a lot lately. asking friends to go with me to the library to return a book, to go to the grocery shop together, and sometimes even the pharmacy. there are things we do every week that require spending money, they're necessary to our survival and well-being. so why not make a thing out of it?
ask a friend to go along so you can gossip while you do your groceries, or to go with you to run an errand you've been putting of forever. who said we have to do those kinds of things alone? we don't. and they might be easier and more fun if we do it with someone we love.
or, even better, if it feels like you can't not spend more when you're outside with other people, ask them to come over just to chill and talk and do nothing together. i'm sure they'll love to unwind with you after a day of working too.
5.check out you city's cultural calendar
one thing i learned after moving to montreal is that there's always something going on here that requires no money at all. from music festivals to group activities, i can always find something that is free and fun to do without spending money. for me, this is like killing two birds with one stone (my god do i hate that saying): it gets me out of the appartment and my comfort zone.
one thing i'll try in june is taking one day to map out things i want to do just like that and add them to my calendar ahead of time so i don't have to think about this every weekend. making life easier when you balance a 9-5 plus everything else is key.
does that sound feasible to you? let me know in the comments!
a list for list-lovers
ok, let's say you're also a little bit like me and love a good old list of things to do so you don't have to do everything yourself. here are some things that i did, will do and that help and will help me in the future with this.
are you ready? ok, let's go:
finished assembling this book nook that i got for christmas and was collecting dust on my kitchen table
read three books i bought last year but were just there on my bookcase (if you're curious to know which ones, they were this one, this one and this one).
started drawing using the oil pastel kit and sketchbook i bought in march (but haven't used since).
started going on longer walks with my dog after work.
began cooking bigger more elaborate breakfasts on sundays just because.
actually started reading the main's newsletter to find new stuff to do that don't require me spending money.
selected a new museum to visit every first of the month (when it's free for montreal residents).
started to use the public library way more to check out physical books (and they offer a lot of activities and workshops that i want to start participating in).
installed screen lockdowns: no tv during the week and cellphones after 8pm (this has been forcing me to think outside the box and figure out new things to do).
took more long, relaxing showers after work.
picked up french again and re-started the course i bought in 2023 but never finished.
updated my reading journal with all of this year's reads (i'm up to 16 books now!).
asked friends to think of more things to do together that don't require spending money.
made an art gallery out of my fridge door (i hung up pictures that were stored away, postcards and mementos i brought with me from brazil).
started to ask more help with day to day stuff so i don't have to do them alone.
this might not be the most appealing and romanticized list you've ever seen, but writing it down made me realize how enjoyable the last few months have been simply because i challenged myself to do something other than rot in my couch every night after work.
having a job is tiring and stressful, but i'm realizing it can be even more so if i keep telling myself how tired and stressed i am. i need to change the narrative i tell myself to see the possibilities and actually get out of the hamster wheel of working-eating-sleeping.
it's been worth it.
that's it for today.
take care,